Lord of the Lymericks
by SHIELD-HR
Summary: Basically, this a summary of the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings in lymerick format. Someone once told me a clean lymerick couldn't be written. This is my attempt to prove them wrong and pay homage to J.R.R Tolkien in my own special way.
1. Chapter 1

The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings

With Apologies to J.R.R. Tolkien

Megan Murphy

There once was a hobbit named Frodo,  
The son of another named Drogo.  
His precious; a ring,  
A peculiar thing,  
Which he got from his uncle Bilbo.

The ring once belonged to Lord Sauron,  
His Dark Throne; to rule he had sat on  
A quite evil git,  
He feared losing it,  
Then Alliance of Men cried "Lay on!"

And Isildur cut off the ring,  
But upon his own hand put that thing.  
Didn't kill Sauron,  
This known by no one.  
So about this 'last battle' Elves sing.

By dark ways through Mid' Earth it came round,  
That this ring by poor Sméagol was found.  
Fears it exploited,  
It was quite suited,  
To turn Sméagol to Gollum, it sounds.

Then on an adventure went Bilbo,  
To a mountain that Dwarves of old know.  
A dragon named Smaug,  
Who looked like a frog,  
Lonely Mountain had taken for show.

While on that adventure this hobbit,  
In a cave with Gollum he found it,  
A riddle game won,  
Though technic'ly done,  
Through escape from Goblins he kept it.

He'd not known the One Ring's true power,  
'Twas forged in the Dark Lord's tall tower.  
Rule them and find them,  
In darkness bind them.  
'Tis something to fear, make men cower.

He thought it was just a mere trinket,  
And in his front pocket to leave it.  
His precious it was,  
'Till gave to a coz'  
"Dear Frodo, in safe places keep it."

Then Bilbo went of to Imlandris,  
With Elrond Halfelven to eat feasts.  
And left dear Frodo,  
That son of Drogo,  
His home and ring 'in loco heiris.'

When at last a few years had gone by,  
The Nazghul on black horses did ride.  
They came to the Shire,  
Their eyes burning fire,  
But missed Frodo, who'd fled just in time.

Frodo Baggins, a bachelor of means,  
Samwise Gamgee, a gard'ner of greens,  
Went to Crickhollow,  
Nazghul did follow,  
So they fled with a couple of 'Tweens.

Meriadoc Brandybuck was one,  
With his friend Peregrine Took did run.  
With Frodo and Sam,  
Together they ran,  
Through the Forest, which wasn't much fun.

In the forest, used for a pillow,  
Were the roots of the old man Willow.  
Tom Bombadil came,  
At their crys of pain;  
The hobbits the willow had swallowed.

In Tom's forest abode they did dwell,  
But for how long they never could tell.  
In Barrow-Wight graves,  
They found shiny blades,  
'Ere they all left that enchanted dell.

They were to have met Gandalf in Bree,  
Though the dangers there none could foresee.  
But he wasn't there;  
Imprisoned upstairs  
Of Sarumon's tall tower retreat.

To the Inn, in that village of Bree,  
Came Frodo and his hobbits; three.  
They met with Strider,  
Nazghulish riders.  
From the Inn they were forcéd to flee.

To the watch tow'r at old Amon Sul  
Ran the five chased by nine black Nazghul.  
Dear Frodo's shoulder,  
Piercéd, grows colder,  
By the Witch-King D'Angmar's blade Morgul.

To Imlandris' ford they did make.  
Diff'rent paths they were forcéd to take.  
Our Frodo, or course,  
On Glorfindel's horse,  
By the quickest way there did he break.

When Frodo could just ford the river,  
The Nazghuls behind made him shiver.  
He drew out his sword,  
He challenged their lord,  
And bade them to stand and deliver.

That effort did cost Frodo much,  
For remember he'd felt Morgul's touch.  
He dropp'd to the ground,  
And heard not a sound,  
As the cold hand of Death did he clutch.

But our hero was saved, it would seem,  
And awoke from a sleep without dream.  
Discovered himself  
With Elrond the Elf,  
In Imlandris, but knew not the means.

His friends Frodo was happy to see,  
Even Gandalf, who'd not been in Bree.  
But happiest though,  
Was dear old Bilbo.  
For his nephew, but also the ring.

To Imlandris did Boromir ride  
Out of Gondor, bearing black tides.  
His dreams had been dark,  
Except for a spark  
That he'd dreamt in the West 'twould reside.

There was also an Elf from Mirkwood,  
Bearing tidings that were not quite good.  
For Legolas said,  
A few Elves were dead,  
And the Gollum escaped to the woods.

A contingent of Dwarves from the mount,  
Also came to deliver account;  
Their fool-hardy jaunt,  
To Durin's old haunt,  
And so Gimli was there, short and stout.

These three and our heroes did gather,  
At a council Elrond did muster.  
Though oft' enemies  
They all could foresee,  
Middle Earth was faced with great danger.

Well, dear Frodo was ordered to bring,  
And to give up the Dark Lord's One Ring.  
So Boromir thought  
'Tis a gift that's brought,  
Thus an argument broke o'er the thing.

'Twas decided that someone must take  
The ring into Mordor to unmake.  
Cast into the fire,  
The One Ring so dire,  
It would melt and there'd be no mistake.

But the council could not choose just whom  
They would send to their ultimate doom.  
So Frodo said "I,"  
And Sam's hidden cry;  
"If you go, then I'm coming with you!"

And then Merry and Pippin did fight,  
To be joined in the fellowship's plight.  
For Legolas too,  
And Gimli, it's true,  
Also joined, to the hobbits' delight.

So the Strider did offer his sword,  
'Twas revealed he was truly a Lord  
Of Gondor, the King,  
With Barahir's ring,  
In a way he made Frodo his ward.

Thus did Boromir, last one of all,  
Though he thought that the group would all fall,  
Said "Gondor'll see done,  
Away with the One,"  
And he heeded the Fellowship's call.

But Gandalf, who'd, joined in at the start,  
Knew someday their ways would all part.  
He sensed his own doom,  
The Fellowship, too.  
For they all felt death near in their hearts.

So Elrond called them the nine Walkers,  
And warned them of Nazghulish stalkers.  
They prepared to leave,  
Their hearts on their sleeves,  
And said "Bye," for they weren't big talkers.

As the group headed out one fall day,  
Our dear Frodo was heard then to say;  
"Will you please tell me?  
I'm in a quandary…  
I can lead, but I know not the way."

So they left behind Rivendell's gate,  
Walking onwards towards uncertain fate.  
Nothing much happened,  
Morale got dampened,  
And the path through the woods went on straight.


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome back to the second installment of my little bit of poetry. It is not so long as the first, the reason being that the first was written over a period of a year, whenever I got bored in my college classes. I wrote these next ones during accounting I on Monday.

CrystalFNfire: I corrected some of the spelling of the last chapter, namely Smaug's name. thanks for pointing that out

randomrohanfreak: yes, I love that limerick. I wrote one once along those same lines. My parents used to have this book, dirty little limericks, that they used to hide from me. (Of course, that meant I looked for it even more) I learned the meter from there, and the poems amused me. In the forward, Edward Lear's limerick was quoted. I only wish my skills were equal to his.

Well, on to the main event!

Meanwhile unbeknownst to our party,  
Sarumon's orcs amassed an army  
From out of their breed  
Made Uruk-hai seed  
Super-orcs to run in sun freely.

So Sarumon sent out his Crebain  
To sort out their Fellowship bane.  
In Eregion vale,  
They played well and hale.  
Unsuspecting of imminent pain.

A cloud moving against the stiff breeze  
Was a warning and all there did freeze.  
'Twere black birds who spy,  
And to Sarumon fly,  
With this Gandalf was not very pleased.

So they knew then the mountain was watched,  
And their trek o'er the pass then was botched;  
For red Caradhras  
Would no hikers pass,  
They would not be "_Excelsior!"_ touched.

Then Gimli opined it was better,  
If not to go over, then under!  
Through Moria's gates,  
To find his Dwarf mates  
About his relations he wondered.

He knew they had reclaimed the Great Hall,  
And he would not believe they could fall.  
But Goblins lived there,  
And worse had its lair  
In the deep dark beneath Durin's mall.

Well they could not go over, 'tis true,  
And Gandalf did not know what to do.  
They let Frodo choose,  
Who had most to lose,  
And he chose the long cave to go through.


	3. Chapter 3

Well, here's the next bit. sorry it took so long for so few, but my accounting class made me do work and I was unable to write many more.

Also, I wanted to thank all those who've pointed out errors and odd things. I d go back and edit constantly as things are pointed out, because I want this to be the best I can make it. So if you see anything, don;t hesitate to call me on it, or let me know.

Thanks!

Megan

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So in search of the old trading gate,  
They went and they hoped they weren't late.  
'Twas made with the elves  
Of silver mithril  
And could never be shut but by fate.

The clouds parted and moonlight shone near,  
And the writing on doorway read clear.  
"Speak Friend and Enter,"  
But their Mithrandir,  
The riddle he couldn't decipher

They sat there as Gandalf tried phrases,  
The moon up above went through phases.  
'Till 'mellon' was tried  
And doors opened wide,  
Wide open to Moria's mazes.

They stared into the dark of the keep,  
Into darkness that was black and deep.  
But 'ere they inside  
Could venture and hide  
They were struck by the Watcher 'O Deep.

It had Frodo en route to its maw,  
Though 'twas signally lacking in paw.  
An evil creature,  
Sirannon blocker,  
'Twas attracted to Ring which it saw.

The fellowship beat back the monster,  
And reclaimed the Nine Walker's leader.  
They hurried within  
Then heard a great din,  
As Watcher played doorway destroyer.

In the darkness and old stone-hewn gloom,  
They could see not a single dwarf loom.  
The Boromir said,  
"Oh Gimli, I dread,  
That this is place is no hall, it's a tomb."

The corpses of dead dwarves embittered  
The mithril they mined 'round them glittered.  
Arrows of Goblins  
And Orcs' spear-ends  
The flag stones all over they littered.


End file.
